Do You Lose Hours Online?
Have you ever sat down to check your phone for “just a moment” and suddenly realised an hour has disappeared? Many of my clients describe this exact experience. What starts as a quick check turns into endless scrolling, leaving them feeling drained, anxious, and disconnected.
This pattern is known as doom-scrolling. It affects:
- self-esteem
- anxiety and low mood
- motivation and energy
- relationships
In this blog, I’ll explain why doom-scrolling happens, how it works like a dopamine thief, and how counselling in Haslemere, Farnham or online can help you break the cycle.
What Is Doom-scrolling?
Doom-scrolling is the compulsive scrolling of negative or overwhelming content, especially on news or social media.
It’s driven by two natural processes in the brain:
- Negativity bias – we are wired to focus on threats, so alarming news pulls our attention.
- Dopamine reward system – every new post gives a quick “hit” of dopamine, urging us to keep scrolling.
The problem? Doom-scrolling acts like a dopamine thief. It steals our attention and time, giving us tiny bursts of stimulation but leaving us emptier afterwards.
What I Hear from Clients
“I was going to bed, but then I lost two hours scrolling. Now I’m exhausted.”
“I compare myself with everyone online and always come away feeling not good enough.”
“My partner says I’m never really present, and I can see why.”
The common thread? Shame, guilt, and frustration — which often drive even more scrolling.
The Dopamine Thief: What Happens in the Brain
Here’s why doom-scrolling feels so compulsive:
- The dopamine thief – each new post or headline hijacks reward pathways: fleeting hits, no real satisfaction.
- Prefrontal cortex fatigue – decision-making and self-control weaken the longer we scroll.
- Amygdala activation – alarming news triggers anxiety and vigilance.
- Frontal lobe reduction – rational thought decreases, so hours slip by unnoticed.
👉 Doom-scrolling isn’t about weakness — it’s what happens when our brains are manipulated by a dopamine thief.
The Emotional Toll
Many clients describe:
- feelings of inadequacy from constant comparison
- anxiety from relentless news
- low mood from overstimulation
- guilt and shame about wasted time
These emotions ripple into confidence, work, and relationships.
How Doom-scrolling Strains Relationships
- Feeling distant even when together.
- Parents feeling guilty for being distracted from their children.
- Friends noticing reduced attention in conversations.
- Arguments arising over “always being on the phone.”
In counselling (Haslemere, Farnham or online), these themes come up again and again.
Doom-scrolling, Anxiety, and Depression
- Cortisol rises from constant stress, leaving us restless.
- Serotonin (linked to mood stability) drops with comparison and hopelessness.
- Sleep disruption from blue light and negative content fuels low mood.
- Helplessness from endless bad news reinforces depressive feelings.
👉 Many people who come to me for counselling for anxiety or depression in Haslemere or Farnham notice doom-scrolling makes symptoms worse.
The Cycle of Doom-scrolling
Trigger → boredom, stress, loneliness, or uncertainty.
Scrolling → novelty and negativity hook the brain.
Emotional dip → comparison, anxiety, overwhelm.
Shame and guilt → self-blame for wasted time.
Avoidance → more scrolling to escape discomfort.
This cycle explains why it’s so easy to get stuck.
Nervous System Responses
Doom-scrolling also affects the body:
- Fight or flight – stress hormones increase.
- Freeze – stuck scrolling, unable to stop.
- Dysregulation – feeling restless, drained, or flat.
This is why people often feel both wired and exhausted afterwards.
Practical Steps to Break the Cycle
- Awareness Without Judgement – Notice your triggers.
2. Set Boundaries – Anchor scrolling to times.
3. Curate Your Feed – Unfollow accounts that drain you.
4. Replace, Don’t Just Remove – Try alternatives: call a friend, journalling, music.
5. Ground in the Body – Stretch, breathe, notice your feet.
6. Digital Hygiene – No phones in the bedroom, turn off notifications.
7. Relationship Rituals – Create phone-free times.
8. Practice Self-Compassion – Remember, doom-scrolling is a dopamine thief.
Reconnecting with What Matters
When clients reduce doom-scrolling, they often rediscover:
- hobbies and interests
- quality time with loved ones
- better sleep and focus
- a calmer, more balanced mood
👉 Counselling in Haslemere, Farnham or online can help you explore patterns and loosen the grip of the dopamine thief.
Reflective Questions
- When do I most often find myself scrolling?
- How do I feel during scrolling? How do I feel afterwards?
- What am I hoping to get — connection, distraction, comfort?
- Does scrolling stop me being present with people I care about?
- What one small change could I try this week?
Closing Thoughts
As an integrative counsellor offering counselling in Haslemere, Farnham and online, I believe everyone has the capacity to find balance and connection. Doom-scrolling may leave us anxious, flat, or distant, but with awareness, compassion, and small intentional steps, it is possible to loosen its grip and reconnect with what matters most.
You are already enough — without needing to measure yourself against an endless feed.
How Counselling Can Help
If doom-scrolling, anxiety, or low self-esteem are affecting your life or relationships, counselling can help.
I offer:
- Counselling in Haslemere, Farnham, and online
- Support for anxiety, low mood, low self-esteem, health, solution focus and relationships
- A safe, confidential space to explore what matters to you
📍 Vanessa Halliwell Counselling – Online or in Person in Haslemere & Farnham
You can contact me:
Email: hello@vanessahalliwellcounselling.co.uk WhatsApp: +44 7760 892231